How many times have you heard that having needs is selfish?
The chances are you have been told this over and over again, and it’s now time to let go of that thought. It is not selfish, nor weak to have needs, it’s what makes us human. We have many needs that are essential to our survival, such as eating,drinking and sleeping. Does drinking make us selfish? No, it does not, and neither does wanting to be in a relationship in which your emotional,physical and security needs are being met.
It might take you some time to get over the fact that having needs is perfectly normal, and that part of attending to your needs is part of your self-love and value. If you do not love or value yourself, it is impossible that anybody will. Therefore, searching for a partner that meets ALL your needs does not make you needy, it makes you smart. Smart because you know that you will never be happy unless someone can fulfill your core human needs. Below are three major “needs,” that if met by both partners will help maintain nurture and maintain a loving relationship
Physical needs, which include the need to be physically connected to your partner, through physical activity such as hugging,kisses and feeling an overall sense of tenderness.
Emotional needs, which boil down to feeling, and being told that you are loved and valued. The need to feel like you are a priority in your partners life.
Security needs, the need to be supported by your partner, the reassurance that your partner will stand by you in case of conflict or in times of distress. Your partner needs to be your safe haven, the soft cushion to fall on when you’re down. If those three basic needs are not being met, the only way to survive a relationship is to demand change.
Besides those three needs there are plenty others you might require.
Ask yourself, “What Are YOUR Needs?”
Do you even know? For many people they haven’t even thought about their own needs in a really long time. Most people are constantly living to fulfill someone else’s needs. No wonder, there is such a high percentage of divorce rates! It’s impossible to live a happy life when your own needs are being ignored.
Think about your true needs are, not based on what you see on tv or what your friends tell you they should be. What is your heart and soul telling you?